The Weekend of the Stubborn

Thankfully, this weekend ended up being far more relaxing than originally expected. Friday night started with pumpkin carving. I wasn’t crazy excited for pumpkin carving as it required sticking my hand inside the goopy squash. As you can see from my Saturday post, the carving was a success. I sent the pumpkin home with a friend so I would have to deal with it slowly rotting away.

20131031 pumpkins

After carving, my friends went to a haunted house while I waited in my car.  I never wanted to go and, as I am stubborn to a fault, I insisted on waiting for them outside the house. While the original plan for Friday was dancing, we ended up going to karaoke instead. This  was only my second time at a karaoke event and it was great fun. I love watching people sign and have a great time. It’s like seeing a band with more variation and comedy. My stubborn side came out again, though, because this guy sitting next to me continuously asked me if I was going to sing despite the fact he had yet to go up there.

Here’s a fun fact about TK. If you ask me something and I give a definitive answer (yes or no), that’s my answer. End of story.  If I say maybe or something that indicates I am still thinking about my official answer, then I am open to persuasion. I hate it when people ask me the same question over and over once I’ve given a definitive answer. If anything, doing that only re-enforces my answer. Sometimes, I start to reconsider my answer, but the second someone asks me the same question again, it’s like hitting a reset button. I trace this behavior back to my grade school days. I didn’t have a backbone for a long time and happily gave and did anything asked of me. Eventually, my peers stopped asking and just took. When I decided to exercise my ability to say no, I  was rudely shoved, and once cornered against a locker by 5-8 of my peers until they got what they wanted from me (my ball, my book. Whatever it was I had they wanted). I was very angry back then and I wanted to shout at them that I said no. This is mine and rightfully mine until such a time I decide to give it up. Leave me alone. When I think about it, that’s the same frustration I feel when I am asked the same thing over and over.

Man: Will you be singing

Me: I don’t think so. I really like watching people sing better.

Inner Dialogue: No

Man: Come on, sing.

Me: Nope. I don’t want to.

Inner Dialog: no

Man: Seriously. You can’t go to karaoke and not sing.

Me: I don’t want to sing tonight

Inner Dialog: I SAID NO MAN!

Man: Your friend sang. Won’t you sing also?

Me: Listen. I really don’t want to tonight. I’m really enjoying listening to everyone. I really like this song.

Inner Dialog: Seriously, no means no.

(15 minutes pass)

Inner Dialog: I wonder if the DJ has ‘That Kind of Love’ by  Alison Krauss

Man: So are you going to sing

Me: Nope

 Inner Dialog: *reset* SERIOUSLY MAN. LEAVE ME ALONE; I SAID NO!

…and so forth. Even if I start thinking about changing my answer, I don’t want to come off as weak or flaking. I don’t want people to think they can get even more out of me. This may be a useless and even limiting defensive mechanism in my adulthood, but I find it hard to shut it off.  I’m just stubborn and when I give my answer, that’s it. I’m sorry if you don’t like my answer, but chances are it won’t change.

20131031 friends

All together, Friday was a blast. Hanging out with my friends was great and the people who sang were very entertaining. It’s amazing how people can surprise you. Those you think would be the most shy, or have an average voice are often the ones who blow you away.

Saturday, I had to get my car repaired (and I’m at my budget’s limit) and then I made tater tot casserole to eat while playing Cards Against Humanity with friends. The casserole is significant because the only milk I had was almond milk. In my head I thought ‘milk‘ not ‘crushed nuts in water.’ When I revealed the secret ingredient, I learned one of my friends is allergic to nuts. It’s certainly not a laughing matter and I should have been more aware of the ingredients I was using. Luckily, my friend had no reaction and decided to keep eating.

For the record, if you haven’t played Cards Against Humanity, you haven’t lived.

My Sunday plans were canceled so my boyfriend (who I’m going to call D from now on) and I laid around and watched The Big Bang Theory most of the day.  All and all, a fantastic weekend

(I am super sorry for my stubborn flaws this weekend.)

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