I loathe to have another weekend devoid of blog posts, but my piece of shit computer is at Acer (AGAIN!) for repairs. As a consequence, I am super busy planning my next angry speech about how I deserve another year’s warranty and/or a new computer because a brand new computer costing $1,000 with a disk hard drive AND a solid state hard drive should not crash THREE FUCKING TIMES in less than a year. It should not.
Sorry, that angry speech wasn’t meant for you guys.
The other consequence is that I am forced to use my tiny, old, slow and tedious netbook for all computing needs. By use I mean I get frustrated and do all things involving the internet on my phone. Writing a blog post on my smart phone takes up so much more time. I can’t do this you guys. Today, I have a fun short post. I’ve seen many a blogger write about the search terms that bring people to their page.
According to Google Webmaster Tools, I don’t have a lot of clicks yet (I should work on that) but this blog does appear in some pretty interesting search results. Here are my favorites from this past week:
“max 4 the harder they come”
Is this a work out or a porno? That’s a stupid question. If my blog appeared in porn search results, I’d have WAY more traffic.
I know, right! It was terrifying looking at that cuckoo clock.
“fuck forever baby”
This is not the blog you are looking for. Also, that sounds tiring; pick a new hobby. And don’t go near any babies.
“Disney snow white sex”
Again, are you looking for porn or are you wondering if there is sex in the movie? If you’re looking for the Disney movie that is rumored to spell out the word sex in the sky, you’re looking for The Lion King.
This was my only click via Google this week, so it deserves high praise…. even though my average position is 52 according to Google Webmaster Tools. I’m not going to ask why you went all the way to the sixth page of your search results (who does that). Instead, I hope you found what you were looking for.
What the craziest thing someone searched to find your blog? Will you join me in my anger at Acer? Have you seen Vampire Academy, yet? It’s completely unacceptable if you haven’t. Go see the movie.