Legalize It All

Last Friday, my co-workers and I got into quite the discussion. It started with abortion (and I don’t even know how we got there) and went on. There is just one aspect of this discussion I want to touch on today. Another female co-worker any myself expressed our opinion that abortion should be legal in all cases. To this another co-worker said the line would have to be drawn somewhere. “What if a woman is eight months pregnant?” he asked.

I responded, “If I were eight months pregnant, I would choose to finish the pregnancy based on my morals and my beliefs. However, I would not force those beliefs on another person through the law. When it comes to law, the line should be drawn at birth.”

The conversation continued, touching on many things. Eventually, the co-worker who originally insisted a line should be drawn somewhere threw his hands in the air and proclaimed, “fine. Then we might as well make all drugs and guns legal. We can sell them in vending machines on the street.”

We then agreed. Yes, I have nothing wrong with those things being legal. I hesitate to say that guns should be treated that way, but as I pondered this conversation over the weekend, I’ve decided that I’m okay with the gun vending machines. Let me explain; I’ll start with drugs.

This photo, “Cops Say Legalize Drugs” is copyright (c) 2014 Neon Tommy and made available under an Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic license


I am not arguing that doing drugs is okay. That said, laws against drugs have done very little to prevent people who want to use these drugs from doing so. What the laws accomplish is imprisonment instead of treatment. They take away sons, daughters, mothers and fathers from their family. I see absolutely no benefit to drugs being illegal.

However, if they were legal, these drugs could be taxed and regulated. When a bad batch of a drug hits an area, there are often many deaths associated with it. I’d be willing to bet many of these people hit up emergency rooms from unknowing using a bad batch of drugs and that they don’t have much, if any, health insurance. Gee, I wonder who ends up with the bill for that. If each drug was made in the same way, however, this could easily be avoided.

To reiterate, I am not saying I am okay with people doing drugs. However, I don’t think making drugs legal is the same as promoting their use.


I at first hesitated on this because I think guns should be regulated like cars. Then, I realized that guns are very similar to drugs. If you want a gun, you can get a gun. You can get one illegally if you want. Whose to know until you shoot someone? Whose to know if you always keep is concealed?

People like to jump on guns because of increased coverage surrounding acts of terror in school and in public places. If we set aside our emotional reactions and took a real look at what happened, we’d realize that the possession of guns is not the real reason these acts happen. What I see most often is people with untreated or poorly treated mental handicaps committing these acts.

Two things are frustrating about this. First of all, it’s sad that mental handicaps carry such a stigma with them. If people weren’t so afraid they were going to endanger their child’s future by getting them help (or endanger their own if they are already an adult), then treatment that could prevent a violent outburst in the future could be provided. No matter what their specific problem is, treatment can help the person figure out how to survive in society. The second frustrating thing is how hard it can be for people who want help to get it. I have a friend whose brother is autistic. There are many programs that may have helped him live an easier life, but his family didn’t have a lot of resources. Unless he did something dramatic to prove he was a danger to himself and/or others, he was mostly left to his own devices. It seems unlikely he will ever be able to have an independent life now.

Obviously, this is not the only issue surrounding guns. People fear criminals being in possession of weaponry. Let’s be honest, though, if a criminal wants a gun they are going to get one. They will get one illegally if they have to. What good do the laws do to prevent them from acquiring guns illegally?


Believe it or not, after all I’ve said there are a small amount of restrictions I would apply to these imaginary vending machines. I believe the machine should scan a person’s ID first. For drugs, the individual should be at least 18 years old (but I will settle for 21 years old if we want to match with alcohol). That’s it. So long as you are 18 years of age or more, you can enjoy all the drugs from these magic vending machines that you want.

(on a side note, maybe we should make a law that if you force or trick a person to take drugs without their knowledge that  you are no long allowed to use the magic vending machines. If you use drugs, you aren’t interfering with anyone else’s rights. If you force or trick someone into doing drugs, you have.)

Guns require a little bit more because, if you don’t know how to properly use them, they pose a danger to the rights of others. As such, I think we should keep gun licenses. You’re going to have to scan both your ID and Licences to get a gun out of the vending machine. If you have been convicted of a crime or have been treated for a mental handicap in the past five years, you don’t get to have a license.

If I ruled the world and implemented my ideas, do you think the world would descend into chaos? If there were vending machines on the side of the street selling (heavily taxed) drugs and guns, would you purchase them? Do you think the amount of drug users and school shootings would rise if these things were regulated and made legal? 


18 thoughts on “Legalize It All”

  1. I guess we will go down the list here, and I might add another topic for discussion just to keep it interesting.

    Drugs: I’ll agree with you, taxed, regulated etc. but of course that brings in the whole government oversight thing which a lot of folks just are not fans of. While steps are being taken towards legalizing Marijuana, in other countries such as Switzerland harder drugs such as Heroin are in a sense legal. However only in the sense that if you have an addiction to Heroin you can go to a clinic where you will be supplied with government controlled heroin, administered by a doctor and kept under observation during your high. Not perfectly legal, but incredibly efficient as only the Swiss are likely to do. Personally I have never touched the stuff, maybe I was to un-cool in high school so it never came up, and by the time I was offered pot the first time (visiting a friend at college) I wasn’t going to touch it because I knew I would get tested the minute I came back from the long weekend.

    Guns: Growing up I was exposed to firearms at an early age, and taught the proper rules for handling, cleaning etc. I’m still a firm believe in the fact that if taught how to use them properly guns can be very safe. Ok on the opposite side of the coin I also saw fellow service members who had reached the end of their rope commit suicide by using their service weapon, when it’s within easy reach and accessible and you decide it’s time to go, there is no stopping it. I also don’t believe that just because guns are legal tragedies such as school shootings will stop, in many cases these are acts carried out by mentally ill individuals (I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way, it’s just a fact) and just because the person has no access to a firearm does not mean they will not carry out an attack. Case and point would be the mass stabbings that have occurred in both Japan, and China when you are angry at the world and want to hurt people a pair of scissors can be just as bad as any other weapon.

    Prostitution: A final question and one that sometimes pops up in my mind would be prostitution. I’m not saying it’s a good thing to sell one’s body but if you decide of your own volition that this is what you want why should the state stop you? In particular while travelling through South East Asia you see this a lot, despite how much the industry flourishes in places such as Thailand, or the Philippines prostitution remains illegal. Not only does this make it dangerous for the guys and girls working the industry as they have no one to turn to should a customer become violent with them, it also stops them from receiving proper medical checks, and sentences them to a life of being a social outcast in a culture where in many cases due to poverty or lack of education this is one of their only avenues. To be clear I am only referring to prostitution in the sense of it being someones choice, the human trafficking element is without a doubt completely reprehensible however it serves as another example as to why I argue for a legalized industry.

    I’d write more but jet lag is kicking in, my apologies for grammar mistakes as my brain is currently moving at half speed.

    1. I think we are in complete agreement on everything, even prostitution. I know that some people have problems with government oversight, but that’s what you get if you want it to be legal. I don’t believe we would see much of a spike in drug use, gun ownership or prostitution if we made everything legal. Like I said, my only restrictions are that the formulas/industries be regulated to the extent the individual is educated on what they are purchasing, individuals be 18 years or older (prostitution included) and that people who purchase guns should have to obtain a license through a process that teaches them how to safety use a gun and makes sure they have no recent record of crimes or mental issues.

      I hear a lot about service members who commit suicide and it’s a huge tragedy. However, I don’t see this as a gun issue. I still see that as a mental health issue. I don’t know everything that goes into the life of those who serve in our military, but I’ve often thought there should be a way to treat those who have mental issues (especially those brought on by their job like PTSD) without immediately taking them out of their position. Suicide, in this case, is one more example of how untreated mental issues lead to tragedy. Just because it’s not public and violent against others does not make it any less of a problem. I’ve had some scares surrounding guns and suicide with people I know in my own life. There is definitely a concern there, but I think it has less to do with gun rights and more to do with how we diagnoses and treat mental health issues.

      Prostitution being illegal is crazy to me. If you film it, it’s legal. If not, you go to jail. Legalization and regulation of prostitution would, in my opinion, address many issues. For starters, the average age American prostitutes started their career is 13. That is crazy and tragic. Many are ‘trained’ from a young age to trust the pimp and do whatever he says so that, when they turn 13 or 14, they don’t stand up to him. The additional tragedy is that, if this girl wants out and wants to report the abuse she suffers at the hands of her pimp, she goes to jail. Why should a girl go to jail for something that was widely out of her control? (assuming she got in the business before the age of 18). Legalization would allow these girls to report crimes without facing jail themselves. While regulation would not eliminate the prostitution of children, I believe it would lower the numbers of under age prostitutes dramatically. If it doesn’t, I don’t care. If the number of prostitutes under the age of 18 only goes down by 1% with legalization, it’s worth it. It’s worth it for those children who don’t have to suffer.

      The long story short is that putting people in prison for these crimes does nothing to prevent or deter people from participating in these activities. So, why have laws if they are ineffective? Why not instead have regulations that make money for the government and address the real issues at hand, like treatment for mental illness and drug rehab?

      1. You have it correct of course, the reason service members commit suicide (at rapid rates) has nothing to do with gun’s. I have seen guys try to hang themselves with a belt from their shower curtain rod, so the gun is not a neccesity. As to why this is an issue is best left for another time and place, since this is a wholy seperate and very long winded discussion.

        Prostitution is actually only legal in one place in the US, a few counties in Reno NV where the world famous Bunny Ranch and others are located. One of the big things that a lot of proponents of legalization point out is that in a legal system with such things as medical care, equal rights, etc. there would be no need or even want for pimps. After all if the woman is capable of taking care of herself, and has legal rights as any other citizen there is no need for someone to “take care” (and I use that term loosely) of her. While travelling through South East Asia I have met people of all types, and one of my good friends is a former escort, she got into it for the same reason many others did the abject poverty of her family. Now that she is out and lives a normal life we catch up with each other on occason when I am in town, and some of the stories she tells are pretty harrowing. Such as when a customer locked her in a room and kept her for several hours, in situations like this it is extremely dangerous for the girl. She can’t call the cops because she would just report herself for a crime, and considering many of the folks that participate in this industry are tourists he would likely get away with a bribe, and a shake of the hand if the cops did show up.

        I completely agree on laws being ineffective, but of course that is just the way things go. It is an unfortunate side effect of things like the war on drugs that we ended up with thousands of people locked up for simple posession charges, at the same time to play devils advocate I can say that is the law and the law is upheld.

        1. In college, one of my majors revolved around human rights. While I don’t know many people personally with stories like your friend’s, I’ve heard my share of horrible tales.

          I think part of the reason I have these opinions is because I studied repercussions of some of these laws. Laws with good intentions that end up causing more harm than good lead to many violations of human rights.

          The problem in a lot of cases is political. I see a lot of these issues to be like a broken arm. Politics wants to make the whole person happy, so they wipe off the blood and administer pain killers. There is an instant benefit which they hope will earn them a a vote in two years. Unfortunately, the only way to completely fix the problem is to set the bone, possibly through a few surgeries and many doctor’s visits. Results will be a long time coming. If they take too long, a politician risks losing a vote.

          There are ways to improve these issues, but laws like the war on drugs is like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. It cleans up some initial trauma, but is ineffective for the overall goal.

  2. Thought-provoking post.

    I think that abortion should be legal because making it illegal has very little effect on the abortion rate. It just causes women to do it themselves or contact illegal providers. It leads to a lot of death.

    And, someone getting one in the eighth month is almost always dealing with a health risk. If they have waited that long, it is almost always a wanted baby.

    And making drugs illegal is often an excuse to arrest people who are black or brown. You’ve heard of being stopped by the police for DWB: driving while black or brown? Whites are less likely to be stopped and be found with drugs in their car. Once you arrest someone you take away their civil rights to vote and sit on juries. And you can make them work in the prison for free. And so you return to something looking a lot like the time of Jim Crow and slavery.

    1. I once participated in a rally for an end to the drug war. Of the speakers, the one that stood out the most was someone who talked about the stereotype of the absent black father. Their stance was that many fathers are spending years in jail for simple possession of certain drugs. Even if a person morally believes a father should not be using drugs, is that enough of an excuse to remove a father from his children? What does that accomplish?

      IF we are going to ‘punish’ people who are found in possession of drugs or using drugs, I think they should all be sent to some kind of rehab. At least then the government would at least create the illusion of trying to something about drugs.

  3. TK, you are moving closer and closer to joining me and my fellow Libertarians 🙂 ….you’re like SO close to being a Libertarian you might as well get your card 😉 ……as we’ve discussed in the past, and I won’t go into it all since we pretty much covered it before, the only area where we slightly disagree is that I believe local cities should have the legal right to create their own restrictions if there is unanimous support; so while I believe “all drugs should be legal”… if an individual city wants to outlaw them for their particular city; as long as they pass the law democratically then I’m okay with them outlawing it. I just believe that the power for such laws should be given to local ordinances…. a better example is prostitution because its more polarizing then drugs.

    I always get weary when though when we pass laws in Washington, D.C. that affect people all over the country; its simply not fair because belief systems are SO different from one city to the next, and one state to the next. I believe that if we support diversity than we should support individual city and state’s rights when it comes to laws, and then we should just live in city or state that best reflects our personal views.

    1. I would define myself as Libertarian as well. every political analysis I’ve ever done has landed me there. I don’t know, though, which one of us is just slightly more or less libertarian given what seems to be our one difference.

      To sum up my beliefs, if something does not effect a person’s human rights, than it should be legal. The simplest example of this is smoking. Totally legal, be my guest. However, exposing people to second hand smoke takes away their right to health. Therefore, I have no problem with laws restricting where a person may smoke. However, if a person is gay, that person is not effecting the rights of anyone else any more than people who have brown hair. Therefore, I don’t believe there should be any laws restricting the rights of gay people.

      If a community is anti-gay, there are plenty of ways to chase the gay people away without making laws. For example, a convicted sex offender moved into the small town I grew up in. He was not allowed to be within so many feet of registered day cares. In this small town, many people simply ran day care out of their homes with no registration. So, while there were plenty of children around, he could still legally live there.

      He was chased out of town. I don’t know the exact methods used, but I can imagine no one talked to him. When he asked where he might find a job or a grocery store, no one helped. I’m sure people told him to his face to get out of town. No more than a month passed before he was gone. While that’s all very sad, the people accomplished what they wanted without passing a local law that said ‘no people convicted of sex crimes can live here.’

      But then, I don’t know why I continue to explain myself. I have absolutely no problem with your opinion. It’s such a minor difference. If we were to both run a community, I have the feeling we would have very similar laws.


      “we should just live in city or state that best reflects our personal views” is easier said than done.

      1. If we lived in a warm weather beach climate state, while I would be supportive of people’s rights to nude sunbathing….I think I would vote for a law that requires really hairy guys from either having to shave or wear a cover up 😉

        1. tisk tisk, discrimination against ugly people.

          I guess, if I lived in a warm weather beach climate…. public areas would require swim suites that cover up all private parts because children are present. However, a private beach would be allowed to regulate what its patrons wore… or didn’t wear for that matter.

          But, this is an area in which I am unfamiliar. I would have to get some lobbyists to explain to me the purpose of public decency laws and what rights they aim to protect and weight that against a person’s right to wear or not wear what they please. (In my magic land, lobbyists are experts and help politicians understand the things they make laws about. Because a politician can’t expect to be an expert in everything that people do. No money or gifts of any kind are legally allowed to be exchanged between lobbyist and politician because that has been shown to lead to corruption with is not in the best interests of the people)

  4. Since apparently I can’t comment directly below your post I will leave this here, because obviously now was the time for the Reply button to f* off.

    Again I find myself nodding along to what you are saying, of course then I am forced to point out what is so wrong with the system in the first place. The thing that keeps amusing me every time election season swings around in the US, and why I have yet to vote in any election (mainly because the public vote is arbitrary and doesn’t count but that’s another story). Why in all of creation the two party system continues is beyond me, yes sure you can keep telling me there are libertarians, the tea party, and the pink elephant party for all I care that fact off the matter is that elections always play out the same. The public says “oh look what a horrible job POTUS and his party did in the last four / eight years, lets vote for the other guys because surely they will fix it.” Fast forward four years later and what are people saying “oh look what a horrible job POTUS and his party did in the last four / eight years, lets vote for the other guys because surely they will fix it.” Because obviously that plan worked so well the first time around yes? It feels a bit like groundhog day every-time election season rolls around, which is perfectly fine with me because I sit in the corner and giggle to myself like some sort of deranged loon.

    Now I realize that this is a rather long winded explanation, but I tend to think this is the same reason why you see that laws we see. Lets not even dig through the absurdity that is the war on drugs, lets consider things like the current bill in Arizona because clearly wedding photographers and bakers are the only reason that was ever introduced (gosh golly gee, what wonderfully profound and insightful politicians they have in that state, and I thought FL were the crazy ones).

    1. I had an internship with a small organization at fighting poverty in Chicago and I will never forget what the head of the organization told me. “The biggest conspiracy in this country is the idea that Republicans and Democrats are any different from each other.” What she meant by that is, for the most part, when they get in office they almost always end up doing the same thing. I find I have to agree.

      I still see voting as worth while, though. I mean… there are some issues with the system, but that has nothing to do with the worth of voting. I think it matters down to the local level. Local government officials grow into state officials and then get a chance to be in a national office. Those local elections are the most important to me. If most people voted in those, some (not all) of these crazies in the national government wouldn’t be there.

      That law in Arizona is disturbing. I will never understand why some people see gay people as a threat to their rights. It’s not like the government can force religions to accept equal marriage. If a gay person is excepted as they are and not discriminated against, that doesn’t prevent anyone from disliking them. If you serve a gay couple lunch in your restaurant, they’re not saying you can’t practice your religion.

      Far be it from me to be a little logical, though. There is always one comment I say that trips people up when it comes to using freedom of religion as an excuses to discriminate against the LGBT community. What about those religions that support and observe equal marriage? Don’t they deserve their religious freedom as well? It’s not a crazy concept. The church I like to attend is Lutheran and observers equal marriage.

      1. Ah yes poverty in the US, I know it is a serious issue believe me. After having provided security in several places around my home state which were mostly low income neighborhoods I know the face of our poverty all to well (there is a whole poverty discussion I have saved up, but that is not for the here and now). But the head of your organization was completely correct in my opinion.

        And yes I agree with you voting is important, I do vote in my local elections and especially in the state ones when there are issues I feel strongly about. However national elections leave me non-plused because the only thing that counts in the Presidential race is the electoral college vote, and they are not required to (but often do) go along with the public (ie. popular) vote.

        ::Sarcasm:: Because obviously the poor photographers, bakers, and wedding planners who are good god fearing Christians should be allowed to tell those awful people who don’t follow their lifestyles to get out. In a completely loving and Christian way of course, as Jesus would. ::Sarcasm::

        Whether it is the freedom of religion to discriminate, or another issue near and dear to my heart such as immigrant rights, and racial equality people will always be completely flabbergasted when you bring logic into the conversation. Personally I am completely heterosexual however that doesn’t mean I mind anyone who swings for the home team, I am lucky to have at least two friends who are gay and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I realize for some folks it boils down to not having grown up with it, I guess I like to imagine that in my former country we were a little bit more universal (I know that is an idyllic way of looking at it). But I will never forget how hard I laughed while out at a nightclub with some friends a few years back when a young man approached us, he walked up behind one of my male friends and asked him to dance I thought the poor guy was going to jump out of his own skin he was completely taken aback. The other guy tried to explain but my buddy just scooted further away on the couch, so I got up and said “I’ll dance with you.” We just danced for one song nothing crazy, when I brought him back to my friends who were now open mouthed he said “your a lousy dancer but your pretty cute, to bad your a straight guy. Have a great night handsome” He had to get one more in on my buddy so he winked at him and left, this caused my buddy to melt down mentally he was completely besides himself, in his defense I just don’t think he knew how to handle any of that stuff this was not the kind of Latin nightclub he was used to after all. Finally he asked me how I could not only dance with him, but let him call me cute. My answer was “simple he already knew I was straight, and I’m secure enough in myself to happily accept a compliment from him.” I do honestly hope that guy found someone, everyone deserves to. And your completely right they do deserve their religious freedom, after all marriage should be something enjoyed by everyone.

        1. I remember the first time I took D to a gay bar. My friends and I wanted to go see the drag show and he came along because my friend said she’d pay for his beer. He stood off to the side and was definitely a little uncomfortable. What was funny, though, was that his discomfort was born out of confusion. He wanted the guys in the bar to think he was attractive because who doesn’t want to be seen as attractive. But, he was also afraid they would see him as attractive because he’s not gay. I think he felt like he was somehow lying. Like someone might thing he was gay just for being there, but then he’d have to turn them down. Man, that was a great night.

          Have you ever heard the theory that homophobic men are afraid that gay men will objectify them the same way they objectify women? As far as I know, that’s only a theory, but I can’t help but see that in your story. You were not afraid to dance with that guy because you knew he meant no harm and was just looking to have some fun. Maybe your friend was uncomfortable partially because he didn’t want a man to try and make a move on him. That isn’t to say there is anything wrong with that because, like I said, it’s natural to be uncomfortable with what you don’t know. I just think it’s interesting. Like, so what if you get hit on. It’s your right, regardless of your sexuality, to express your disinterest in romance and move on.

  5. Now there are some interesting theories, and yes I do believe your on to something in a way. Kudos to D for taking a step out of his comfort zone, that is tough to do sometimes especially when you it’s something like going to an openly gay establishment for a straight guy. And yeah I get the confusion in his head after all, I’ve even experienced a guy in the past coming on to me pretty strongly and normally I take it all in good fun. But this guy wouldn’t take no for an answer until he finally crossed a line with me at which point he go what was coming to him, so while he was asking me not to break his wrist I calmly explained to him that I was very comfortable with myself but he shouldn’t push it. He got the message after that, but I think that was a big wake-up call for me because suddenly you see it from the the other side, and it’s like someone slaps you in the face with reality.

    While I have never heard that theory, it is an intriguing one and honestly one that I would be interested in seeing whether there is any truth to that. I think an interesting parallel is one I recently saw with a co-worker, in both my current and former military profession guys tend to get pretty rowdy with each other. Especially in the service where everyone is on an equal level and there is no privacy it can really seem to an outsider like there is something going on, what was always funny would be the guys who would engage in something like say jumping on their buddies to wrestle around with them. One of the guys would then proceed to try and bite someones neck or something like that, it was all fun and games until you made a comment about “Hey man that’s a little weird.” We weren’t questioning him, and frankly even if he was gay everyone would have just accepted it, but in his case the insecurity really showed through when he would go off on long rants about how he was straight, and how often he had sex with his wife at home, how he hated gays, and so on. Sometimes that homophobia really covers up a lot of insecurity.

    1. I first heard that theory in an excerpt from a book and I can’t remember the title. It was written by a lesbian woman who served in the military. She was discussing the differences between the way LGBT men and women are treated. She said if her commanding officer caught her making out with her girlfriend, he’s want to join or watch. That is to say, he’d see that act not as one of love between two committed individuals, but as a purely sexual act. He would essentially objectify them. This act reduces them to little more than sex toys for his pleasure in his eyes. So, what happens when he sees two men making out? He fears that the gay men will turn to look at him in the same way he looked at the lesbians.

      …because gay men, being men, obviously can’t control themselves around the sex they’re attracted to. Boys will be boys, you know?

      If this idea exist in homophobia, which I can believe it does, I think it has more to do with general male stereotypes than just gay men. This is why I think gender equality and LGBT equality are closely related. They both involve gender and gender stereotypes.

      If an attractive drunk girl gets raped, it’s her fault because boys will be boys. If a man touches a women without her permission, boys will be boys. Hell, they did a large survey on a college campus and found that 30% of men would rape if it was legal and, when the wording was changed to “force a woman to have sex,” nearly 50% said they would. It makes me wonder if the law is really all that stops men from attacking women. Is that fact or a damaging male stereotype. Either way, it’s there in our culture. Men are likely to attack the person they are attracted to. Why should gay men be different?

      We’d all save ourselves from a lot of anger, confusion and misunderstanding if we just treated each other with dignity and respect regardless of our gender or sexuality.

  6. First off let me say I feel like channeling a Baptist preacher right now, yelling lines such as “Amen, Sister. Hallelujah I say.” Or the ever popular “go tell it on the mountain.” (ok moment has passed)

    Yes I completely agree with you, personally watching two people make out whether guy/girl, girl/girl, or guy/guy elicits about the same response from me. Namely “hooray for them, wait a second why am I watching two people make out?” But the author of the book is of course completely correct most heterosexual men would be turned on by watching two girls make out, and would immediately objectify them.

    I personally hate that argument of boys will be boys, first off it excuses acting like a complete dick in the best case, and the lowest form of life in the worst case. There is no excuse ever for attacking someone, or to quote the survey “forcing sex” whether you are gay or straight it is and always will be completely inexcusable. I do apologize but this is one of my buttons, whether it’s the simple act of disrespecting a girl or going to that next step in my mind you are the lowest form of life not even worth comparing to an animal. A perfect example is the whole “well she was wearing X outfit, so she was asking for it.” Nope, sorry but I’ve dated enough dancers in my life to know that just because the girl wears a skimpy outfit does not mean you now have carte-blanche to do what you want to her. Hell even when they aren’t it still doesn’t excuse any such behavior. Sure I can see the argument for rough play, I’ve been known to do that myself but that is an act between two consenting adults not me attempting to force the girl I am with into something she doesn’t want to do. Personally I was brought up pretty old school, and once the word “No” or anything similar are used I step back immediately it should act like being whacked with a thousand volts of electricity, not as an invitation to do more. I’m sure my little moment with that one guy who didn’t know to step off was not even close to what many woman will experience in their lifetime, but that little moment made it even more horrifying in my mind because I caught just a glimpse of the much larger monster.

    Ok I apologize for that rant, sometimes those just kind of come out of nowhere it’s the whole stream of consciousness thing. Your right TK it would be a wonderful world, let me know when you get there because I’ll want to follow. Ok what else you got, come on this is fun.

    1. What else do I got? Get a few drinks in me and I’ll start debating the meaning of existence with you.

      More to the point, I agree with everything you say, and the statistics prove it too. The drunk, scantily dressed girl is not the typical rape victim. Most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim who, therefore, has a bit of access to their whereabouts. I think that’s why they can get dicey. I have a friend who was raped by her boyfriend. She was a religious girl and was waiting until marriage, but they would still make out and fool around a bit. One night, the guy decided that wasn’t enough for him. For a while she couldn’t even admit to herself what happened because she did choose to be in that situation. It doesn’t matter though. If a person is rocking their birthday suit and they say stop, all sexual activity should come to a halt.

      This issue actually gets expanded into how society treats men. Patriarchy negativity affects men as well. Those men who do not fit society’s definition of masculinity are cast aside as worthless. I always get a little bit of hell when I mention this to fellow feminists because the effects on women are much worse. However, men can be victims of rape and domestic abuse. They are less likely than women to report it because they feel it would further emasculate them. Men who suffer from depression and similar mental issues are more likely to go undiagnosed and untreated because we accept that men should not cry or show weakness. The way a ‘manly man’ is supposed to behave and the way a person with depression behaves are very similar. While women are more likely to attempt suicide, men who attempt suicide are far more likely to succeed.

      Then there are male stereotypes. The idea that men are animalistic creatures who can’t control themselves at the sight of an ankle or cleavage. The idea that they can be so fueled with natural, preditorial secual desier that they don’t notice the torture they inflict on another individual. Then there is the idea that men aren’t supposed to open up or show feelings that we equate with weakness. That can’t be good for a stable romantic relationship.

      …and now I’m letting my stream of conciousness run free. My point is that our society tells men they should act a certain way. Our media and music is full of language and images that support the ‘no means yes’ idea. It tells men they should push harder when turned down. This does not excuse men from the actions they commit. The problem is that the idea that men are predatory beast when it comes to sex and romance is accepted in our society.

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