There are going to be some changes coming to ChapterTK due to my new job and subsequent new schedule. For now, just know that The Zachery Saga will now be moved to Friday. Additionally, please know that I appreciate each and every one of your comments. It’s all related to my schedule change. More on Saturday. For now, on with our regularly scheduled programming.
This poem is kind of funny because I won’t be able to give as much insight to this one. When I first started reading it, I started to think about my father. In the last half, it became clear that wasn’t the case
I wrote this poem on October 5th, 2004. I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school.
You worry that I worry to little
I worry that you worry too much
Both of us are plagued with worries
You let the world know
You tell the world your worries and fears
I trap them inside
You rely on friends for support
I rely on myself
I do not believe the world
has the right to see my worries;
I let these pages know my feelings
No one and nothing else will hear.
What makes this poem particularly funny is that you can tell by this last line that I had no intention of sharing this writing with anyone. That didn’t last long as this series is not the first time some of these poems have been made public. I read a couple of my own poems, paired with some great writing my Maya Angelou, for extracurricular speech during the 2007 – 2008 school year.
Sharing two poems is hardly the same as publishing them all on my blog, which honestly still causes me a bit of anxiety. I associate a lot of this writing with a sad and ignorant teenager and often fear it will sound childish. Just like that, I defy this poem. I’ve gotten far better at voicing worries and fears I have.
I used to think worries, fears and the things that came with them (like tears) were signs of weakness. That was an attitude left over from the days when the bullies were worse. These were the sorts of emotions I learned to hide because I felt any reaction to my bullies actions would make it all worse. At the very least, my boyfriend gets to hear all my worries.
Maybe it’s not that I’ve really changed in who I share these sorts of worries with. Perhaps I just didn’t feel close enough to anyone in 2004 to give anyone that level of trust. It’s funny to think like that because I certainly felt like I trusted a handful of people, but did I really?
This is so different from the other poems I’ve shared because I can’t provide as detailed of an explanation. I have no idea who I am talking to in this poem. It may be a specific friend or a specific family member. I’m not sure what specific actions generated this poem.
Can you provide some insight? Who do you think this poem is talking too? Are you the type of person who wears your emotions, good or bad, on your sleeve or do you keep them to yourself? Have you ever created something in secret and then exposed that secret of your own free will? How long did you hold it in before you shared?